Relationships are the key to a great life. Well, authentic relationships are the key to a great life. I’ve had plenty of relationships, some good and some bad but I have learned in any relationship there are always ways to make it better. So what are the keys to a great relationship? The best way to make a relationship better is good communication. Whether you are in a romantic relationship or one that is a bit more casual, these 4 principles will help your relational communication.
Jesus said, “The overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks,” Every word we speak has a motive connected to it. Regardless of what we say or how we say it, again, every word has a true motive connected to it. The motive is either self-motivated or others-motivated. It’s either selfish or selfless. This why it’s so important to have integrity in our motives for being in relationships. Over the last 18 months, I’ve experienced such ridiculous relational fallout that I have now started to begin new relationships with people who have authenticity. I am literally done with fake, phony, polished people. If someone is too good to be true, they probably are. The motives we have should be for others. This is what God blesses.
Blessed are the PURE in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8
They say in comedy, “Timing is everything.” It’s true in communication as well. If your friend or loved one is having a stressful moment, it’s probably not a good time to bring up more stressful news. Understanding timing in communication is crucial. This one principle can revolutionize your relationships. You can communicate bad news at the right time and everything will be fine. Finding the right time is more important than just having to get something off your chest. If you are striving to be in life-giving relationships then you must take timing into consideration.
How we say something is just as important as what and when we say it. I like to call it “packaging.” Delivering tough news can be a hard thing. Learning how to deliver it is vital. When we use the right tone it shows respect and honor for the other person. Taking the time to evaluate and lighten our tone will go further than just being direct and to the point.
Where we communicate is extremely important. To confront someone probably shouldn’t be done over dinner in a restaurant. When we choose the right environment we may have chosen the right outcome. If you think ahead and choose the right environment it will go a long way.
All these elements have to do with having relational intelligence. Relational intelligence isn’t something we’re born with. It truly takes time to develop. Developing relational intelligence means you have love, honor, and compassion for other people. It means you put forth effort into nurturing genuine relationships. This week I challenge you to develop relation intelligence in the are of communication.