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4 Keys to Effective Relational Communication

Relationships are the key to a great life. Well, authentic relationships are the key to a great life.  I’ve had plenty of relationships, some good and some bad but I have learned in any relationship there are always ways to make it better. So what are the keys to a great relationship? The best way to make a relationship better is good communication. Whether you are in a romantic relationship or one that is a bit more casual, these 4 principles will help your relational communication.

1. Motive
Jesus said, “The overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks,” Every word we speak has a motive connected to it. Regardless of what we say or how we say it, again, every word has a true motive connected to it. The motive is either self-motivated or others-motivated. It’s either selfish or selfless. This why it’s so important to have integrity in our motives for being in relationships. Over the last 18 months, I’ve experienced such ridiculous relational fallout that I have now started to begin new relationships with people who have authenticity. I am literally done with fake, phony, polished people. If someone is too good to be true, they probably are. The motives we have should be for others. This is what God blesses.

Blessed are the PURE in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

2. Timing
They say in comedy, “Timing is everything.” It’s true in communication as well. If your friend or loved one is having a stressful moment, it’s probably not a good time to bring up more stressful news. Understanding timing in communication is crucial. This one principle can revolutionize your relationships. You can communicate bad news at the right time and everything will be fine. Finding the right time is more important than just having to get something off your chest. If you are striving to be in life-giving relationships then you must take timing into consideration.

3. Tone
How we say something is just as important as what and when we say it. I like to call it “packaging.” Delivering tough news can be a hard thing. Learning how to deliver it is vital. When we use the right tone it shows respect and honor for the other person. Taking the time to evaluate and lighten our tone will go further than just being direct and to the point.

4. Environment
Where we communicate is extremely important. To confront someone probably shouldn’t be done over dinner in a restaurant. When we choose the right environment we may have chosen the right outcome. If you think ahead and choose the right environment it will go a long way.

All these elements have to do with having relational intelligence. Relational intelligence isn’t something we’re born with. It truly takes time to develop. Developing relational intelligence means you have love, honor, and compassion for other people. It means you put forth effort into nurturing genuine relationships. This week I challenge you to develop relation intelligence in the are of communication.

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Freedom to Fly

 

Take off the limits and soar to new heights.

I remember growing up in central Florida on a little peninsula called Merritt Island. My friends and I would go surfing whenever there were waves and I have very fond memories of those times. I also remember when there weren’t any waves and we’d find ourselves strapped to a wakeboard in the Indian River being yanked behind a speeding boat with some crazy buddy driving! Sometimes we’d stop at Humphrey bridge and really get the adrenaline pumping. My buddies and I would climb up the platforms from the water and throw caution to the wind! We’d just jump! Moments before you take the jump, you’d get a crazy feeling in the pit of your stomach and then after we’d leap off the platform, it was pure excitement! Recently, I’ve found life to be very similar.

I’ve always been a free spirit and a free thinker. Unfortunately my freedom has gotten me into trouble from time to time because not only do I think freely, I speak freely as well. If you’re reading this and you happen to be on my list of not-so-favorite people, don’t worry I won’t be speaking freely about you. This post is about perspective. More specifically perspective when it comes to our current or future situation. How we perceive things and keeping a right perspective is huge when it comes to our destiny, our happiness, and our joy level. I want to give you permission to fly. We all have the freedom to fly to new heights and soar to new destinations. God has built freedom into the work of the cross, the resurrection of Jesus, and the Spirit-filled life. Ever wonder what it would be like to just go do what God has called you to do; without hesitation, without man-imposed limitations, without others getting in your way… shedding all fear and just going for it?!

This is the call of freedom, to run wild in the purpose of God and chase Him with all your heart! Currently I find myself thinking in this realm a lot more. I guess when you go through rejection, transition, restoration…. you eventually land in freedom. It’s a beautiful place to be.

The only thing holding us back is us.

Well what about the devil? The devil is a defeated foe.

What about the boss who keeps holding me back? That boss isn’t the key to your destiny.

What about people who don’t like me? People didn’t create you for greatness, God did.

Listen, God is for you and if He wants you to succeed, if He wants you to be the CEO, if He wants you to be financially free, if He wants you to be happy, if He wants you to be whole inside and out, then there is no force on the face of planet earth that can stop Him! Oh and by the way… He does want all those things for you and much much more!

If you find yourself unemployed… look at it different, you now have the freedom to create your own future with God’s divine guidance and inspiration.

If you find yourself single or divorced… look at it different, you now have the opportunity to find someone who truly cares and loves you.

If you find yourself lonely or depressed… look at it different, you can’t get any lower, the only place to go is up!

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When we change our perspective we can change our life. God has given you the freedom to fly. So start flapping those wings and get to soaring to new heights! God has something great for you in the future! It’s time to jump!

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The Day After

The day after the biggest event of your life is the most important day of your life.

Because the next thing that you do with what happened at that event determines the impact of that event. The day after Easter everything goes on sale… chocolate, baskets, plastic eggs, cheap colored tinsel; all of it is on sale. The commercialized day of Easter has passed but what has happened in our hearts? It makes me wonder about this event we celebrate called Easter. Many people go to church not knowing God on Easter and by the end of a powerful experience in God’s presence they now have a relationship with God. The day after is what’s important. I bet the disciples had many things to do on Monday after Jesus said rose from the dead. I’m absolutely positive they did not go about life is normal they didn’t go about life as usual. They were on a mission they had things to do with us the book of Acts begins. What does our Monday look like? Do we have the same attitudes, behaviors, and habits? Are we living the exact same way we did on Easter Sunday before “the Christian Super Bowl” of all Sundays? Or are we like the disciples on Monday do we have a new spirit within us? Are we actively seeking out the lost to try to connect them to Jesus? Do we have the Holy Spirit power with living within us so that our lives look different and feel different so that we act different. For me I’ve always loved Easter Sunday but it’s the day after that counts.

Likewise, the day after the worst event of our life is key. What we do on that day is what matters most. When we experience failure of some sort, death of a dream, or a divorce, whatever devastation that occurs, what we do the next day is key. It’s vital the first thing we run to isn’t the bar or the bottle but it is our Savior. The same risen Savior on Easter is the same risen Savior on the day after the worst day of our life and we have the ability to access that power.

I’ve always loved great events but the day after that great event, I’m looking forward to something else. I’m pushing towards the next thing. Is there a longing in my soul for that next big event? I talked about the healing of the soul in my last post. Anytime we’re looking towards or for something else trying to fill an unmet need, it means that there’s something in our soul that is not healed properly. Whenever were seeking after something other than God and His Spirit it means that our soul is longing. God doesn’t want our soul longing he only wants our heart.

So on this week after Easter, I challenge you to do something with the experience of the risen Savior!

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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!

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The Key to Happiness

Your soul is the most crucial thing to keep strong in your life.

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. (‭Psalm‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ NIV)

Have you ever just woke up one day on time? No alarm clock, no urgency, just a natural awakening. Have you ever just had things fall into place? No pushing, no anxiety, just an even flow of everything going your way. I’ve been there before. Too often it’s the other way around; stress, hectivity, strife. But there are those times (and they are becoming more frequent) when everything goes just right without my help. Those are the sustaining times, those are the times when God effortlessly steps in and takes over. I’m learning I don’t need anything to sustain me except the Lord. I’m learning to be sufficient in God alone, to find the satisfaction in my soul with Him and nothing else. No relationship, position at a church or organization, amount of money, absolutely nothing can sustain me like God’s presence in my life. This trust in the sustaining power of God is birthed out of a prosperous soul.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. (‭III John‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬ NKJV)

Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. This is a short definition of course. Our soul is much more than these but using these as a measuring stick its a little easier to help unpack this powerful passage from 3rd John. This verse is challenging us to the very quality of our lives. It’s saying that the quality of our life is measured by the quality of our souls. The health of our souls.

Are we prospering in our soul?

Our life prospers according to our soul. Being in good health isn’t just a physical condition it would indicate how healthy our soul is. Tending to our soul is the key to prospering in our lives. We have to guard ourselves in our souls. For instance, I had to stop looking at the media feeds of former relationships. I had to stop taking calls from people. I actually had to block some folks from my phone. I had to stop watching and listening to certain things that didn’t bring health to my soul. Our souls being healed and whole is the key to a life of prosperity. It’s the key to living the God kind of life the ZOE type of life. (ZOE is a greek word meaning the God kind of life, the life God intended!)

For the first time in my life I am truly tending to my own soul. It took a great season of loss to get me here but I wouldn’t trade the health of my soul for anything these days. I’m finding healing everyday because I am doing the things I need to do to bring my soul the healing it needs. So my key to happiness is a healthy soul.

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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!