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Beating Depression this Christmas

 

Christmas can be the most wonderful or the most awful time of year.

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). -Matthew 1:23 NIV

Ahhh the holidays… hot coffee, warm blankets, Christmas trees, the smells and the sights of the season of Christmas. We all know the reason for the season of Christmas is Jesus but there are all the trappings of Christmas that come as well. Some of these are most enjoyable like Elf and The Christmas Story and then the food like peanut butter fudge and chocolate chip cookies. Of course presents are nice too. But most of all it’s family, seeing and spending time to those closest to us. Unfortunately, this time of year can be painful for those who have experienced loss, hurt, divorce, or abuse in the family dynamic. The pain is real and processing it is important for us to make it a wonderful time of year. The great thing about this time of year is that we can make it wonderful or awful but it is completely up to us. I’m going to give you a few ways to help keep the joy in Christmas and to keep emotionally fit. It’s up to us to be happy.

Adjust Your Focus
If our focus is to have the picture perfect Christmas then we will be let down. Our focus should be on Jesus, Immanuel, God with us. Just like any other time of year, when we stay focused on God then our hearts are at peace.

Set the Right Expectations
We love the idea of a magical Christmas… all the Hallmark movies kind propagate this idea too. Maybe because of the day of Christmas everything can be healed and ok right? Well maybe, but it’s unlikely. Christmas can stir the emotions in us to want to forgive and be forgiven but we must set our expectations correctly. I’ve learned to set mine low on people but high on Jesus. Keeping our expectations realistic is healthy for us. Think about it, if the lost family member hasn’t reached out to you all year, they may not reach out to you on Christmas. If they do, great… but if they don’t, do not allow your emotions to be affected by their lack of care. This is where we must have faith. We pray and ask God to move on their hearts. This keeps our expectation on the Lord and not the person. People will always let us down but God never will.

Stop Comparing
Instagram and Facebook are definite emotion tweakers! Don’t compare someone’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes. What you see on social media isn’t the full picture. It’s just a snapshot. Don’t compare your Christmas experience to and Instagram picture. How silly! And don’t compare your Christmas experience to someone else’s either. Comparison is a killer. A killer of gratefulness, creativity, and your own experience. If we are constantly comparing our experience to someone else’s then we’ve actually missed out on our own experience! If you can’t stand not being on social media then maybe you need a break from it! I’d actually challenge you to not even look at it until 2016! This will help keep you happy, focused on your own life, and keep your emotions in check this Christmas.

Watch Your Appetites
With the holidays comes celebration. Most celebrations have alcohol. Watching our appetites in the area of consumption would do us well this Christmas. Obviously I’m a recovery advocate so I don’t partake in drinking, but many people do. An occasional glass of wine or beer isn’t going to do much harm but if you find yourself seeking solace from the bottle then you are sure to have a depressing holiday. Alcohol is a depressant naturally so of course it will affect your mood. There are different chemicals triggered in our brains that cause us to experience emotion. I know it’s not popular but instead of another helping of mashed potatoes or a cocktail, maybe we should hit the treadmill or go for a walk. Exercise produces the chemical serotonin which causes us to feel happy. Laughter also produces serotonin so maybe watching a comedy is a good way to go too! We need to know our triggers and avoid them.

This truly can be the most wonderful time of year, but it’s up to us to choose that! My prayer is… this Christmas you experience the joy of the birth of our Savior Jesus.

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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!

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The Killer of Comparison

Comparison is a killer!

Well Easter Sunday has come and gone. As a new church planter, I was looking forward to Easter. It’s the christian Super Bowl… it’s the big number day! But as the big day came and went I did what every church planter should not do on Sunday afternoon. I went on social media. As I scrolled through my various feeds, I found myself feeling bad. When I should’ve been rejoicing for the Kingdom wins I was seeing, I was actually feeling insecure and not that great about myself.

Where the heck was this coming from? We’re only 10 weeks old as a church and in church planting standards we are crushing it! We have great numbers but why was I feeling so bad? Oh I get it… comparison. I was comparing myself to churches and leaders who were a lot older than us and had a lot more experience than I do. I was reminded by the Holy Spirit with this scripture.

John 21:21-22 NKJV
Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, “But Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”

This struck me hard because even the first disciples dealt with comparison. Peter had just been told about the gruesome death he would experience in the earlier verses of this passage and immediately he wants John to have a similar experience. BUT Jesus… Jesus says in essence, If I want him to live forever… that’s my business! We must understand Jesus is building His church and He is the one doing the work. Our feelings and expectations have nothing to do with it. Our job is to follow Him.

Don’t compare someone’s highlight reel with your behind-the-scenes.

Comparison will always be a temptation, but don’t take the bait. Make sure to compare yourself to no one but yourself. This isn’t a competition, it’s a kingdom.