July 6, 2015

Relational Alignment

by Ashley Jensen in Blog, Christianity, COMMUNICATE


This is the last week I’ll be blogging on ALIGNMENT. Alignment is such an important topic. When things are aligned they just work better.

Your inner circle will determine your safety and success.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. -John 15:13 NIV

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. -Proverbs 13:20 NIV

Your friends are there when everyone else walks out. When we go through bad times we will find out who our real friends are. I’ve been in many different ministry circles, I’ve been around all the big names and the big ministries, I’ve been in relationship with some of these same people and I have to say, I’m thoroughly disappointed. The people you come in contact with in real life are very rarely the same people that we see on the platform. I actually felt that some of these folks were in my inner circle. I allowed them in because of the influence they had on my life. Influence is earned on a personal level. After going through some tough times I looked to my inner circle and lo and behold… they were gone! I’ve actually had better friends who were unbelievers than I’ve had in the church. Over the past year I’ve had to realign my relationships. I’ve found some relational alignment with people who are real, authentic, and truly have my best interest in mind. So how do you know who your real friends are? Well I’ve listed a few things that truly show who passes the mustard to be in your inner circle.

1. They stay when everyone leaves.

True friends don’t judge what you’ve done. True friends accept and love the ugliest parts of you. True friends are willing to walk with you. They call, they text, they check in with you. They really don’t care about what other people think of you and decide to “associate” with you regardless of what you’ve done or what others say you’ve done. True friends don’t choose sides, they just love you.

2. They don’t just stay, they love.

True friends do stay through thick and thin. Staying though doesn’t mean loving. Just because someone stays doesn’t mean they love. You can teach a dog to stay but that’s just because they know who feeds them! Love is different. True love is exemplified in through the writing of the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. True friends truly love.

3. They have your best interest in mind.

Your inner circle has your best interest in mind. I remember one of these guys that was in my inner circle. I helped him get preaching dates, produce a book, t-shirt ideas, and the list goes on. The sad part now looking back is that we only talked when he needed something from me. True friends call or get in touch with no motive of what they can get but maybe what they can give! If someone in your life is always a taker then I’d dare to say they truly aren’t a true friend.

I know this sounds like a rant of a blog but I’m writing from a place major experience in this area. Needless to say, my inner circle has become very small because there have only been a small few who have truly shown what real love looks like.

Feel free to leave a comment below and let’s continue the conversation! God bless you!

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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!

One Comment

  1. Dorisina
    July 7, 2015 at 4:15 am

    Thank you for sharing your experience.
    It’s very true, this is why my inner circle is so small.
    Be blessed

    1. Ashley Jensen
      July 7, 2015 at 6:48 am


  2. Elizabeth Watson
    July 7, 2015 at 4:55 am

    BLESSED by this message and God’s perfect work through you and this messages timing. God bless you….

    1. Ashley Jensen
      July 7, 2015 at 6:47 am


  3. Tara
    July 7, 2015 at 5:02 am

    Ashley, I have to honestly say my inner circle no longer exists mostly by choice. I am a great friend and embody many of the characteristics you described in your article how ever the norm of reciprocity, as we sociologists call it, has often been non-existent in my life. Will God re-establish this area of my life? Prayerfully! However in this season in my life I have a standard for those who wish to be a part of that deep inner area of my life: if you are not rowing in the same spiritual and relational direction then one of us must get out of the boat.

    1. Ashley Jensen
      July 7, 2015 at 6:47 am


    2. Ashley Jensen
      July 7, 2015 at 6:48 am

      Agree 100%

  4. Sunita Hines, Ph.D.
    July 7, 2015 at 8:01 am


    Thank you for being real and opening up about your experiences with friendship as it relates to the Bible. I can sincerely appreciate your authenticity. Through the years, I have learned that friendship and love in itself is a process and while I have learned many lessons about friendship, in the end, I would agree that love and best interest are concise ways to describe a true friend! Thank you – your write up about friendship is so real!

    1. Ashley Jensen
      July 7, 2015 at 8:05 am

      Glad it helped!

  5. Janice
    July 7, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    Do not throw your pearls before swine. Guard your heart.

    1. Ashley Jensen
      July 7, 2015 at 8:21 pm


  6. Chelsea
    July 9, 2015 at 5:02 am

    True friends are hard to come by now days. No wonder so many people shut people out and are alone and sometimes end up hurting themselves.

    1. Ashley Jensen
      July 9, 2015 at 8:15 am

      Its true by there is hope. God will provide the right relationships.

  7. Monquie
    July 9, 2015 at 6:10 pm

    Thank you so on point! Thank you!! God Bless you!!

  8. Rich
    July 11, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    So true and sad I feel especially in Christian circles. This is so close to my heart and I pray God’s love is truly shown through us to others.

  9. jia
    July 12, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Thanks for this helpful and significant reminder, GOD BLESS.

  10. Alex
    July 14, 2015 at 2:42 am


    I can relate to your experiences, I have also found that unbelievers can be more authentic friends than Christians, sad to say. My circle has become very small, after having been unjustly used by believers it takes a lot to trust again, seen as these are the ones that should be so easy to trust. But I am trusting in God to direct my paths to the right friends for to have those great relationships you mentioned.
    Love getting your words of wisdom.

  11. Liezl
    July 16, 2015 at 9:01 am

    Luv’d your Alignment series. May u b blessed abundantly

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