Difficult people bring out who we really are.
Every single day in every single situation we may encounter difficult people. When a person is difficult it’s because they are probably dealing with unresolved issues currently or have those issues that plague them until they take the first step towards change. My goal and purpose in life is to help people with those issues but I’ve also found I can learn from difficult people. I learn about myself. What is it that bugs me about them and why do I get bugged? Is it something in them that reminds me of myself? Is it something in them that reminds me of people who’ve hurt me in the past? The thing we want to do is change them but in fact the only thing we can change is ourselves. I’ve learned year after year that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react. The only thing we can do is control our reactions and ourselves. For me, I learn to grow and change rather than waiting on difficult people to do the same.
Here are 3 ways that you can deal with difficult people…
Don’t deal with difficult people. If you do not absolutely have to then just don’t. The reason I say this is because a person won’t change unless they are ready. This first way of dealing with difficult people is harder the more closer the relationship is. For instance, if I get a difficult person as a customer service rep, I immediately hang up and call back or ask for a new person to deal with. Easy, I just DON’T deal with them. If the person is my boss or co-worker, well then it’s up to me to make a decision to adapt or to leave. Ultimately the decision is based on what the Holy Spirit is instructing you to do by way of the peace you discern in your heart. Even closer still, if the person is family then move on to the second way because undoubtedly you will have to deal with them at some point.
If you do have to deal with difficult people then do it with grace. I try not to label people but sometimes I do have to label them as “EGR”, Extra Grace Required. Difficult people need grace. We are all difficult at some time and stage in our life and we will need that grace extended as well. It’s interesting that when people go through difficulties and experience grace it’s easier to extend grace to others. Everyone is going through something and the best way to deal with a difficult person is through giving grace.
A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger -Proverbs 15:1 NKJV
When we live in love it becomes the motivation for our lives. Love motivates our reactions. The bible constantly pushes us toward relationship with God because out of that relationship we know true love. Unconditional love. Love is what will help us deal with difficult people and it is what will change difficult people.
Difficult people are a part of life. They will always be around but we have a choice of how we deal with them if at all.
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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!