Struggles

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Category: Struggles

Audio

The Trauma Prayer

Over the last few years, I’ve been understanding the effects of trauma on my mind, my emotions, and ultimately how it affects decisions. Regardless of who you are, at some stage in life, we have experienced trauma. Recently, I’ve had some experiences showing the unhealed results of trauma in my own life. If you’re like me, you don’t want anything to have control over your life except the Holy Spirit. So I have been aggressive about my healing. Part of this process is a beautiful prayer sent to me from a friend by Pastors Jim & Pat Banks. As I listened to the prayer I was overwhelmed with how many things they prayed for and how much each applied to my own life. I’ve been falling asleep to this prayer almost every night but inevitably I get woken up by the music or when Pat starts praying or the end when the music gets louder. (Yes I’m a light sleeper lol) The original prayer is so powerful and can be found here. But I felt led to recreate it in my voice. There’s nothing more potent than you praying for yourself. I did want to make it available to you as well. The SoundCloud file is above and there are options for direct download in the top right corner.

My hope is that this prayer ministers healing to your soul from the devastating effects of trauma.

 

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Freedom to Fly

 

Take off the limits and soar to new heights.

I remember growing up in central Florida on a little peninsula called Merritt Island. My friends and I would go surfing whenever there were waves and I have very fond memories of those times. I also remember when there weren’t any waves and we’d find ourselves strapped to a wakeboard in the Indian River being yanked behind a speeding boat with some crazy buddy driving! Sometimes we’d stop at Humphrey bridge and really get the adrenaline pumping. My buddies and I would climb up the platforms from the water and throw caution to the wind! We’d just jump! Moments before you take the jump, you’d get a crazy feeling in the pit of your stomach and then after we’d leap off the platform, it was pure excitement! Recently, I’ve found life to be very similar.

I’ve always been a free spirit and a free thinker. Unfortunately my freedom has gotten me into trouble from time to time because not only do I think freely, I speak freely as well. If you’re reading this and you happen to be on my list of not-so-favorite people, don’t worry I won’t be speaking freely about you. This post is about perspective. More specifically perspective when it comes to our current or future situation. How we perceive things and keeping a right perspective is huge when it comes to our destiny, our happiness, and our joy level. I want to give you permission to fly. We all have the freedom to fly to new heights and soar to new destinations. God has built freedom into the work of the cross, the resurrection of Jesus, and the Spirit-filled life. Ever wonder what it would be like to just go do what God has called you to do; without hesitation, without man-imposed limitations, without others getting in your way… shedding all fear and just going for it?!

This is the call of freedom, to run wild in the purpose of God and chase Him with all your heart! Currently I find myself thinking in this realm a lot more. I guess when you go through rejection, transition, restoration…. you eventually land in freedom. It’s a beautiful place to be.

The only thing holding us back is us.

Well what about the devil? The devil is a defeated foe.

What about the boss who keeps holding me back? That boss isn’t the key to your destiny.

What about people who don’t like me? People didn’t create you for greatness, God did.

Listen, God is for you and if He wants you to succeed, if He wants you to be the CEO, if He wants you to be financially free, if He wants you to be happy, if He wants you to be whole inside and out, then there is no force on the face of planet earth that can stop Him! Oh and by the way… He does want all those things for you and much much more!

If you find yourself unemployed… look at it different, you now have the freedom to create your own future with God’s divine guidance and inspiration.

If you find yourself single or divorced… look at it different, you now have the opportunity to find someone who truly cares and loves you.

If you find yourself lonely or depressed… look at it different, you can’t get any lower, the only place to go is up!

[quotes style=”classic” align=”center” author=””]When we change our perspective we can change our life.[/quotes]

When we change our perspective we can change our life. God has given you the freedom to fly. So start flapping those wings and get to soaring to new heights! God has something great for you in the future! It’s time to jump!

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Don’t Give Up!

Our resolutions should continue to be resolved.

Well it’s the end of the very first month in 2016. Many people have made resolutions. We’ve resolved to lose weight. We’ve resolved to budget our money. We’ve resolved to go back to church. We’ve resolved many things to make us better and to improve our lives. We get back to the gym on the first day and things feel good but about two weeks of visiting the gym our resolve seems to dwindle. Our determination seems to dissipate. So what to do? What do we do when we aren’t seeing results. Well, when we start a new process of improvement, we must remember that it is a process and it will take a while. Seeing results overnight just isn’t gonna happen. Some people start tithing for a month or two and don’t see immediate blessing so they just give up. They may start running on the treadmill for a couple days and don’t get anything but sore and so they give up. Fruit is grown, it doesn’t just magically appear.

[quotes style=”classic” align=”center” author=””]Inspiration leads to motivation which can lead to determination but it’s up to us.[/quotes]

Results come with time, hard work, and patience. Inspiration leads to motivation which can lead to determination but it’s up to us. When motivation stops our determination must start. When we make a decision to change it’s up to us to have the determination to manage that decision throughout our lives. This is where most people fail on their resolutions for change. They make a decision but they don’t manage it. They slip into to indecisiveness. When you make a decision, stick to it! If what you are doing isn’t working then change what you are doing. The thing you don’t want to do is give up. Do something, do anything but do not give up! At the end of my life, I’d rather try a bunch of different things and fail than being successful at quitting.

When you make a resolution you resolve to do fix a problem. The word resolve means to settle a problem and find a solution. How silly would it be to find a solution to a problem in your life and then stop doing the solution? Solutions take work. An inspiring solution will motivate you but like I said before, that motivation will eventually need to become determination because it will get tough. It will get harder and harder so we must hang in there and grind through a little bit. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve given up on things and I do regret those decisions. I don’t live in regret but I am more determined than ever to stay focused and stay in the game! I’ve learned from giving up. It’s a hard lesson and I am writing this to save you the pain! Don’t give up, don’t give in! Whatever you are facing isn’t bigger than your GOD!

Job 23:13 (NCV)
“But he is the only God. Who can come against him? He does anything he wants.

Luke 1:37 (NCV)
God can do anything!

Psalms 57:2 (NCV)
I cry out to God Most High, to the God who does everything for me.

Psalms 59:9 (NCV)
God, my strength, I am looking to you, because God is my defender.

Romans 8:31 (NIV)
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

The scripture is filled with verses and promises that God is bigger and stronger and greater than anything we could ever face! So don’t give up, your God is with you and He will empower you to win this year! Be resolved to overcome any obstacle in your way this year. You can do it and God is for you!

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Overcoming Insecurity

Insecurity will keep you from the best of life… if you let it.

Insecurity is one of those things I’ve had to deal with my whole life. Living on the praise, criticism, opinion, love, hate, advice, or input of other flawed humans is just asking to be let down. To put it bluntly, insecurity sucks. It reminds me of that old Tool song, ‘Sober’… although the song is talking about something different, the line that sticks out to me is… “I will find a center in you, I will chew it up and leave, I will work to elevate you, Just enough to bring you down”.

Kinda says it all about insecurity. Insecurity drives at the center of who you are or who you were created to be. It’s a toxic ingredient that seeps into every area and relationship we have… if we let it.

“Only the insecure strive for security.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

I’m not a fan of all Dyer’s stuff but he hit this one on the head. If we are striving for something then it means we’ve yet to attain it. If we are striving for financial security then we aren’t content in what God has provided. If we are striving for relational security then we don’t trust the one God has put in our life. Ultimately insecurity is birthed out of not being secure in Who God is and who He’s created us to be. This is such a great quote because for me it says that I am already secure. As a believer, I have security in a strong God and my need for affirmation, lasting affirmation, can only come from Him.

John 13:3… Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;

So there are three things that will help us overcome insecurity. I have overcome insecurity step by step and am finding continued success in this area by looking at how Jesus dealt with it and knowing a few basic things. From this one passage we can see three vital principles that will help us overcome insecurity.

1. Jesus knew what… The first thing I’ve found in overcoming insecurity is to know what you’ve been given.  We are children of the Most High God. We have been given dominion and authority over the power of the enemy and that includes fear and insecurity! When we know what we have been entrusted with, our view of ourself changes to the way God sees us.

2. Jesus knew who… The second thing is that Jesus not only knew what He had, but WHOSE He was! Know who you are. Knowing who your are takes knowing who you aren’t. You have purpose and no matter what it looks like right now or how insecure you may feel, you are God’s. 1 Cor. 7:23 Jesus knew he had come from God and so have you. You are birthed from heaven, don’t get bogged down in this day-to-day earthly life. Yes we must deal with the things of this world but remember to deal with it from a heavenly perspective!

3. Jesus knew where… Jesus knew where he was going… back to God! Think about that… If you have a relationship with God (if you don’t … click here for more information about doing that and let me know you’ve received Jesus!) but if you have a REALationship with God through Jesus Christ, you are returning to God! That right there should take a ton of pressure off. Not only are you returning to God, but He has given you something to do here on earth! God has a plan and He will help you know where to go.

I’ll say it again, insecurity sucks but you can overcome it anytime it tries to rear it’s oh-so-ugly head… by just KNOWING!

As a practice it would be helpful to confess these three points over your life every morning!

1. Thank you God that you have given me power to live victorious in this life! I have the resurrection power of Jesus living in me and I can overcome anything today! In Jesus’ Name!

2. Thank you God that my identity and security is found in Christ alone. No job, title, or person defines me today. I am defined by my Father in heaven as a child of God. I am protected, loved, and favored by Him. In Jesus’ Name!

3. Thank you God that my future is secure in you. I will not fear, doubt, or worry today because my destiny is in your hands. I trust you today Lord with everything. In Jesus Name!

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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!

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The Key to Happiness

Your soul is the most crucial thing to keep strong in your life.

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. (‭Psalm‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ NIV)

Have you ever just woke up one day on time? No alarm clock, no urgency, just a natural awakening. Have you ever just had things fall into place? No pushing, no anxiety, just an even flow of everything going your way. I’ve been there before. Too often it’s the other way around; stress, hectivity, strife. But there are those times (and they are becoming more frequent) when everything goes just right without my help. Those are the sustaining times, those are the times when God effortlessly steps in and takes over. I’m learning I don’t need anything to sustain me except the Lord. I’m learning to be sufficient in God alone, to find the satisfaction in my soul with Him and nothing else. No relationship, position at a church or organization, amount of money, absolutely nothing can sustain me like God’s presence in my life. This trust in the sustaining power of God is birthed out of a prosperous soul.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. (‭III John‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬ NKJV)

Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. This is a short definition of course. Our soul is much more than these but using these as a measuring stick its a little easier to help unpack this powerful passage from 3rd John. This verse is challenging us to the very quality of our lives. It’s saying that the quality of our life is measured by the quality of our souls. The health of our souls.

Are we prospering in our soul?

Our life prospers according to our soul. Being in good health isn’t just a physical condition it would indicate how healthy our soul is. Tending to our soul is the key to prospering in our lives. We have to guard ourselves in our souls. For instance, I had to stop looking at the media feeds of former relationships. I had to stop taking calls from people. I actually had to block some folks from my phone. I had to stop watching and listening to certain things that didn’t bring health to my soul. Our souls being healed and whole is the key to a life of prosperity. It’s the key to living the God kind of life the ZOE type of life. (ZOE is a greek word meaning the God kind of life, the life God intended!)

For the first time in my life I am truly tending to my own soul. It took a great season of loss to get me here but I wouldn’t trade the health of my soul for anything these days. I’m finding healing everyday because I am doing the things I need to do to bring my soul the healing it needs. So my key to happiness is a healthy soul.

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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!

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Authority Issues

You have authority because you are under authority.

I’ve learned over the years about many issues when it comes to leadership but today was another reminder of how important it is to understand the issues of authority. I’ve worked in many environments where authority was wielded properly and improperly. I’m thankful that I’m in an environment where authority is understood and isn’t wielded at all but instead is a life-giving environment that nurtures restoration instead of religion.

Jesus gives a great illustration on the topic of authority. In this passage, Jesus shows us that we have authority because we are under authority.

Matthew 8:5-13 NIV
When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.” Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?” The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.

This soldier submitted himself to Jesus in faith. Jesus complimented his faith because submission is an equivalent of trust. You have to trust those who have authority in your life. It’s an act of faith when you submit yourself to authority as well.

In the church, I’d venture to say that we have a misguided thought process of what “spiritual authority” looks like. Spiritual authority is given to us by God through the finished work of the cross, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. The purpose of that authority is to take dominion in the earth. We have this to dominion over our flesh, our soul, over the devil, and any demonic activity that may try to crop up in our lives. The problem I’ve seen is that church leaders many times have used spiritual authority as a tool to leverage control and therefore manipulate people to do what they want them to do rather than what may be right. I’ve been in these situations more times than I care to remember and often I’ve made decisions based on control versus what I know God wants for me. It’s a delicate balance though because I’ve seen people make decisions based on what “God said” rather then getting good counsel from people God has truly placed in their lives.

It’s important for us to use this authority properly and to submit to it in a way that is humble and teachable.

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Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!

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Shut Yo Trap

Your words may trap you.

Being in ministry for over 20 years I’ve heard many stories about many people. I’ve counseled and been counseled. I’ve told secrets and been told secrets. I’ve heard some pretty crazy things. I’ve always been one to keep people’s garbage to myself though. A lot of people would be pretty embarrassed with the dirt I know about them but I choose to keep my mouth shut. After going through a few tumultuous seasons of my own and having folks who were closest to me, completely betray me, I’ve learned a great lesson. Keep yo trap shut.

1 Thessalonians 4:11 ESV
And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,

Minding our business is what the bible clearly instructs us to do but there’s always a little judge and attorney within us that wants to punish people for their sins. The problem with this is that God always makes it something that bites us in our own rear. I’ve seen it time and time again. When people have accused others of either the truth or lies, and have then levied on them consequences, typically, the punishment they’ve doled out comes back to them in some way. I wish it didn’t happen but God’s word is so clear when it comes to us trying to be judge, jury, and executioner.

Matthew 7:1-5 NIV
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Jesus is clear about the judgement that comes on us. The same judgement we use is the same judgement we reap. The same treatment we give others is the same treatment we receive. The same grace we give (OR DON’T GIVE) is the same we reap!

Galatians 6:7 NIV
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

What we must realize is that when we are so free to speak to others about someone else’s downfall we are hurting the very thing Jesus died for. People. People are what we hurt with our words, that’s why are words are a trap; they will trap us and trap others.

James 3:5-6 NIV
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

For our own personal safety it might be best if we reserve our judgements and consequences to ourself and to the Lord. I guess the old saying still rings true, “If you can’t say nuthin’ nice, don’t say nuthin’ at all.”

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  • Can you remember a time you were afflicted?
  • What was your response?
  • Are there people you need to repent to for gossip or sin against?

Please leave your thoughts if you feel led and let’s continue the conversation! May God bless you!

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Dark Night of the Soul

God is there even when we can’t feel Him.

One of the most influential people in our time was Mother Theresa. Yet she experienced what many researchers have coined, “the dark night of the soul.” The concept was one that left Mother Theresa feeling like God had abandoned her, as if He wasn’t near to her anymore. She couldn’t feel God for a season of her life. This was one of the most loving, compassionate people to walk the face of the earth; she had saved the lives of hundreds of children throughout the world, yet she had felt God had left her life. Now theologically we know God is omnipresent. He is always with us but that doesn’t mean we can feel His presence.

In the darkness . . . Lord, my God, who am I that you should forsake me? The child of your love — and now become as the most hated one. The one — you have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want, and there is no one to answer . . . Where I try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul. Love — the word — it brings nothing. I am told God lives in me — and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. -Mother Theresa

At some point in your life as a Christian, if you’ve walked with God at length, we can feel that God has forsaken us or abandoned us. It happened to Jesus and we are not better than our Master so at some point it may happen to us.

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). -Matthew 27:46 NIV

When the dark night season approaches, take heart and don’t lose your faith because it is your faith that will get you through it. Your faith is what will strengthen you. Jesus was hanging on a cross between two thieves and he had a feeling that God left Him yet God the Father was right there. Jesus had faith in His Father realizing that God had a plan and regardless of the scorn, shame, and condemnation that was laid upon Him on the cross. Just because we FEEL that way does not mean that it has happened. Feelings are fickle. Faith is what matters most.

Our emotions which make up one third of our soul (mind, will, emotions) are a huge part of what will either keep us in the dark night or what will help us see the dawning of a new day. Our mind and will have huge implications also. We must submit our will to God’s will and we must keep our thoughts on God and His love for us.

So why does this happen? Why do we have to go through this dark season anyway? There are a number of reasons but as one who’s experienced it, for me it was to deepen my trust in God. My faith and trust in God grew stronger and I do remember when the season came to a close. I was in Sunday morning worship and I worshipped just the same as I always did. As I lifted my hands God’s presence overwhelmed me in the most powerful way and just like that… I felt Him again. As I look back I realize that His presence is something I hold so dear and even currently I crave His presence more than ever.

Even when we don’t feel Him, He is there. Don’t lose hope and don’t give up.

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The Problem with Authenticity

Authenticity is something we all crave.

We just want people to be honest and real with us. As a believer it’s important that my heart be real as possible just to keep an even keel with God. Allowing my real-ness to come through with God is vital to my relationship with Him. Some of my prayers and conversations with God are dark and depressing honestly. I’m in good company though.

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. (‭Psalm‬ ‭13‬:‭1-5‬ NIV)

David had some of the darkest psalms in the bible but nevertheless he hoped in God. Having a real conversation with God equals real relationship with Him.

Now being real with people… That’s a whole nuther animal. I’m naive in some respects because I used to operate thinking that people are as graceful with others as I am. Yeah, not so much. A mentor once told me that I need to keep my counsel to myself. He meant that I don’t need to share with everyone everything going on in my life. More recently I’ve found this to be true as a great friend told me I shouldn’t feel the need to be accountable to everyone. She gave me some of the best and most freeing advice I’ve ever heard.

We should have one close friend that we can be real with, one that we can share everything with and they respond with nothing but love-covering grace. From there the layers of authenticity should be a little less transparent because most people aren’t mature enough to handle the full opacity of our lives. They just won’t respond correctly.

It’s important to be real but it’s more important to be in safe relationships. Make sure you use wisdom in who you share the intimate details of your life.

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Perceived Rejection

Perceived rejection is a sneaky tactic.

We all hate the word “No.”

It’s a negative word because at the heart of it it means we don’t get what we want but I’ve found God uses that word to grow us up and mature us. Dealing with rejection is something that we all have to do at some point in our lives. I wrote about it here and here before. But this post is about something that maybe we haven’t thought about before and that is a “perceived rejection.” A perceived rejection is different and sneakier because it isn’t out right and it may come through a comment, a look, a tone or some other avenue. The problem is it may not even be real. We may not even be rejected but in fact because we base our offenses on past experiences we immediately take it as rejection. Honestly this is an area I’ve struggled with for years. I believe though that with God’s help we can see the truth for what it is. We don’t have to live offended and broken. We can live in freedom from rejection but we must discern what is real rejection and what is false.

The one thing I know is that when those closest to us truly reject us and even go to great lengths to distance themselves from us, God is there. God is there to wrap His arms around us even when we feel the loneliest. We are never alone. God is here. Right now.

You are never rejected.

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